I need you to know how much I value you and what better way than a post on mother’s day?
Specially a post because I know you subscribe to my blog and even though you struggle with the internet you make it a point to read all my posts and give me feedback. Did I tell you how much I love that?
Now, now, you still drive me crazy and I am not going to stop fighting with you, (else, you might just not recognize me anymore) but, heading on to your seventieth year, I must tell you I worry. Just like you have worried for me since thirty-seven years.
Your health, your finances, your home and your life. You staying alone. I want to make things all right for you and I try my best but, sometimes I feel helpless.
Today’s post is to express my gratitude for some of the best lessons you have taught me and to let you know how important you are to me.
1) When I became a mom, I realized it was a BIG job. As I try to cover the various aspects in my head of “being a good mom” and I fail, it makes me wonder how hard it would have been for you to handle three of us, the big house, pets, dad and family. Thank you for doing your best.
2) I realize that I do not have memories of some events. Maybe I never had them, maybe they got erased under the mountain of our other experiences, maybe you did not find time to do those activities with me, maybe I was a difficult child and impossible to handle, maybe it all got to you just like it gets to us, maybe some of the practices which I feel necessary today, were NOT so all those years ago. It’s all a maybe and yet, like I mention, I act the-know-it-all and I fail so often, I wanted you to know that, I have turned out OK and it gives me hope that so will my daughter.
You don’t know what that hope means to me at times when I am going crazy.
3) As your three daughters, each of us is dealing with the challenges of being a mom.
You used to explain to me always about the sacrifices you had made but, it used to never enter into my thick head till, I became a mom and then suddenly there started my enlightening journey. I cannot imagine dealing with so many difficult situations in life with so much strength as you.
Financial troubles, emotional hazards, mental abuse, bringing up three daughters, health issues and an insecurity for major part of your life. I wanted to tell you I realize a lot more today. I am sorry it took me a long time but, know this, what you did, I could never do even half as better as you.
4) It is from you I have learnt to connect with people and when you live so dis-connected today it used to hurt till it became clear that this is how you wanted it now.
I will keep irritating you with my advice on how I want you to do a few things to reduce your unwanted loads and get on with a better life. I am your daughter, aren’t I?
Thank you for teaching me the importance of people in my life. The good sort, the true friends, the decent race and to recognize the difference.
5) Last but, not the least, I think all your daughters are well settled. This is largely due to your sane efforts during the insane era in our lives.
You did your best and that best was ENOUGH.
Now rest and enjoy your life as much as you can.
And enjoy your second childhood with Aruja. I cannot imagine what you two are up to when you close the door and keep me OUT but, I did enjoy the sneak peek of you both dancing on blaring bollywood numbers, that one time I did try to look in.
We all love you a lot. In different ways of course but, we love you.
Just be yourself, with a little change that is! 🙂